The Glass House

I have noticed as I have gotten older that I am increasingly critical of people’s behavior. There are a slew of problems with this and most of those are well documented in maxims and good books the world over. The one that I think I will focus on is perhaps one that gets the least amount of scrutiny; The Glass House objection.

The saying goes “People who live in glass houses should not throw stones”. What it boils down to is either don’t judge people unless you wish to be judged, or don’t criticize people unless you yourself are faultless. I am not going to go into the actual glass house example (I mean if you DID live in a glass house you are basically in a fish bowl, sounds interesting).

The thing I wish to focus on is being critical when you have faults. What all this seems to say is that being critical of people or their actions has no virtue whatsoever. I say this because none of us are perfect individuals without faults. So who is it exactly we are supposed to turn to for feedback on our behavior? Well if you follow the rabbit hole back the short answer is probably (insert your deity here), or a corporeal representative of said deity. That is obvious lunacy. Life is too diverse and full of contextual anomalies to follow that logic. To use another idiom; what’s good for the goose is NOT entirely good for the gander. We are all special little critters under the sun, and each of us being unique, bring our own set of guidelines dictating our behavior. Apples and oranges all the way.

So back to my issue of being critical. I have been fighting this for a long time. I see someone doing something, or hear someone talk and my mind jumps right in there judging away. But you know what stops me from opening my trap, fear. More often than not I think of the shitty, stupid things I have said or done in my life, do a quick comparison, carry the 1 and then decide I shouldn’t say anything. By doing so I avoid hurting anyone’s feelings, manufacturing unnecessary drama, or in general making a fuss when the outcome of it could lead to something of nominal social value if any at all.

But what about these people. I see a guy railing on about his political ideals, some girl talking about how meat is murder. Though I may disagree with them is my comment going to do anything but spark an argument or in a best case scenario a heated discussion. Is that a good thing? If it is, then who is it good for? I most likely will cede the point before the discussion has even started, my indifference to the outcome winning out. So for me, I get little or nothing in exchange for a possible flame war and hard feelings. What about them? More often than not they get the satisfaction of defending and justifying their point. But as well they probably get upset, and if you are their friend, fundamentally change the way they think of you. So on their end it is maybe a fifty-fifty shot of a positive outcome. So being self centered as I am I keep my comments and observations to those I trust to not take them too seriously when the cost/benefit is more neutral.

I start or end every observation I make with the phrase “what the hell do I know” as a defense. I do this to make it clear that I generally see myself as an idiot, whose survival is a mystery to many, most of all me. If and when this tactic fails I just say I am sorry/tired/drunk ect. and try to move on to something a bit more pedestrian to talk about.

Though I have always been critical, I used to be far more vocal. I was known as many are for “having no filter”. But as I have gotten older, realized how many times I have done the very thing I am remarking on, I hold back.

“Who am I to say…”

That’s just it though. WHO am I to say? I have made it this far, and done so without killing anyone or ruining anyone’s life other than my own in some cases. I do not care for the word entitled, but if there is a softer version of that word, I guess that is what I am. Opinions are like assholes as they say and I am no exception in either case. I have an asshole, so I get to have an opinion damn it.

Well at this point I have kind of rambled my way into yet another pointless, self absorbed lecture. I guess to sum up it is this: If I say something and it upsets you, take a second, think of if you actually like me or not. If you do indeed like me, then don’t be upset or take it personally. All things considered if I am talking to you at all that is as close to a gold seal of approval I can give someone. The way I see you is the way you present yourself, if you are doing so honestly then what fault can I find in that. In the grand scheme of things, arguments come and go. But all the same dude, pull up your fucking pants, seriously.